一帆風順 「Propitious Wind Throughout the Journey」
My China story. How it all began and ended.
Mysterious, bustling, and fascinating
That’s how I described China after my first year spent there. The country intrigued me to the point I spent four years of my early twenties trying to figure it out. And just like that, China became my second home until COVID-19 hit Shanghai, and the fear was on.
All of the sudden, I stepped out of the never-ending cycle of my life in the bustling metropolis of Shanghai, hastily catching a plane to return back to my roots. To the place I left almost 7 years ago. To return back home.
Traveled miles from home to find myself
The early 20s. During this turbulent age, when I was discovering who I am and who I want to become, China embraced me with both arms and gave me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to explore its fascinating culture and society.
Without trying to sound cheesy, China largely helped me to become who I am today. I became more humble, way more stronger, and more considerate. But most importantly, I discovered the power of humanity. I experienced firsthand that despite being miles away from home, despite the apparent differences in our appearances, lifestyles, cultures or politics, we still share numerous things in common. We all love, breathe, and feel. And in critical situations, we are willing to help each other without a second guess, despite being complete strangers. And I sincerely wish it always stays this way.
But sometimes, we’re at crossroads.
Sometimes we need to decide what is right in the long run. The uncertainty, the nostalgia, the sorrow, and the fear are only natural parts of approaching what the future may hold for us.
Sometimes, life can shatter in a blink of an eye, leaving no room to recreate the life we used to know. And despite allowing myself the time to adjust, I shall hold onto the hope of the brighter days by endeavoring myself to thrive.
The time leading to the decision to finally “let go” was extremely painful. I realized that due to the COVID-19 pandemic quickly spreading through the world, I just will not be able to return to China to finish my studies. And it took me a few more months to realize that I might not return to China at all.
As heartbreaking as this realization was, (and to a certain degree still is, as China was my second home and forever will have a special place in my heart) this decision might have been the most important of my life. Learning to let go.
And just like so, after many sleepless nights and never-ending hikes on Saturdays in the hopes to walk away from my problems, I finally accepted the truth and allowed a new chapter of my life to begin.